Three Pigs Bar Joke
The weekend is upon once again and it is time to de-stress after a hard days work. The boss has screamed at us, we’ve screwed a few things up, most likely we forget to feed the cat during that time, and it seems that everything has just not gone our way. So now it is time to snatch a few friends and chill out. Read the rest of this entry »
How Funny Are Political Jokes?
This year I learned that hundreds of people are passionate about politics and the inner workings of it. Part of being in politics is getting a chance to watch all of the funny political jokes that people create. Everywhere I look there are political jokes that are making fun of our president, congress, and other political figures that we see quite often in the news. Read the rest of this entry »
Laugh Out Loud With Blonde Jokes
I have created a compilation of blonde jokes that are sure to put a smile on our face. These jokes are meant to be funny so anyone who is blonde and reading them shouldn’t take them to heart …too much! Just kidding!
Question: Why did the blonde now want to sit next to the window on a plane?
Answer: Because she didn’t want the wind to mess her hair up.
Question: Why do blondes write TGIF on their sheos?
Answer: So that they know Toes Go In First
You Want To Do That?
There was a blind guy sitting at the bar drinking a beer when he yelled at the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”
In a quiet voice the man next to him said, “Before you tell that joke, you should know a few things.”
The bartender is blonde and the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The man sitting on your right is 6’5″ pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind guy says, “No, not if I’m going to have to explain it five different times.”
Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Laugh At
These knock knock jokes might be lame and you’ve probably already heard them all before – but they’re still funny.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aldo
Aldo who?
Aldo anywhere with you!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alexia
Alexia who?
Alexia again to open this door
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Japan
Japan who!
Japan is too hot, ouch!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Jenny
Jenny who?
Jennymen prefer blondes
The Squirrels And The Nuts
Here is a great lawyer joke to share with others.
Two small squirrels were walking in the forest. The first one stopped when he saw a nut and said, “Look, a nut!” The second squirrel then ran to the nut and took it and said “It’s my nut!”
The first squirel grew angry and said, “That’s not fair! I saw it first!”
“Well, you may have seen it, but I have it,” argued the second.
At that point, a lawyer came up and said, “You shouldn’t fight.
Let me fix this dispute.” The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, “Now, give me the nut.” He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, “See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved.”
Then he reached over and said, “And for my fee, I’ll take the meat.”
Funny Obama Joke You Have To Read
I am very happy for Barack Obama being chosen as the next President. He worked hard for it and I know that he will be happy with his new responsibilities. Of course now that he is the next President it means that we now have more free reign to tease and make fun of him. This particular Obama joke I had to share.
A teacher asked his 6th grade class if they were fans of Obama. The kids did not understand the question – but wanted to impress the teacher so they all raised their hands. Little Johnny was the only one that kept hid hand down. The teacher noticed his hand down and asked him why he didn’t raise it.
Little Johnny said, ‘Because I’m not an Obama fan.’
The teacher asked, ‘Why aren’t you an Obama fan?’
Johnny said, ‘Because I’m a Republican.’
The teacher asked him why he’s a Republican.
Little Johnny answered, ‘Well, my Mom’s a Republican and my Dad’s a Republican, so I’m a Republican.’
The teacher was not happy with this answer and asked, ‘If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?’
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, ‘That would make me an Obama fan.
Men Only!
What can be better then making fun of men with the most hilarious male jokes? That’s right we all want to share them and we can’t help – but poke a little fun at them.
There is a small town in the U. S. where there is a large and popular factory that will only hire men who have been married for at least 5 years. One of the local women was very upset about it and demanded to speak to the manager about it.
She asked, “Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous..or what?”
“Not at all, Ma’am,” the manager replied. “It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don’t pout when I yell at them.”
Golf Excuses That Work
Men love to play golf – but they feel they need an excuse to go and play. So I have provided some great ones that will come in handy.
If you test the new car you get a free round of golf
I have to change my whole theory on golf after I read the USGA rules
Everyone cool plays golf
I’m retired so I have to
Church was cancelled because of the snow so I decided to go golfing
Golfing and drinking beer are just downright fun
You get a free beer at the turn
Getting frustrated is great and I can only get that when on the golf course
Golf is the only place that I can take my woman and she can’t talk the whole time
Golf is a great place to learn patience and I need to learn that
I just bought brand new golf contact lenses and they can cut 5 strokes off my score
Excuse? I don’t need no excuse!
